Navigating Love Offshore

AT SEA, THE RULES ARE DIFFERENT, BUT THE HEART DOESN’T ALWAYS LISTEN.

There’s a saying that’s echoed across docks, vessels, and rig corridors for decades: “Don’t fish off the company pier.” It’s a colloquial warning about engaging in romantic relationships in the workplace, especially in tight-knit, high-stress, and often isolated environments like those offshore.

For many mariners, this advice is handed down as a cautionary tale: a reminder that mixing work and romance can muddy professional waters, lead to conflict, and sometimes derail careers. But as more people,especially women, enter the offshore workforce, and as crews spend weeks or months at sea, the reality is more complicated.

Life offshore is intensely immersive. You’re working, eating, and sleeping in the same space, with the same group of people, day in and day out. Bonds can form quickly, sometimes intimately. And while genuine human connection is important,  especially in isolated environments, the power dynamics, workplace hierarchies, and the lack of privacy mean relationships can spiral fast, or carry consequences far beyond those felt on land.

The phrase “don’t fish off the company pier” isn’t just about gossip or office drama, it’s about professionalism, safety, and ensuring that every mariner has equal access to respect and opportunity, free from favoritism or bias.

Unfortunately, women offshore often bear the brunt of relationship rumors, whether or not they’re involved with anyone. A woman can simply have a friendly rapport with a male colleague and find herself the subject of whisper campaigns or unjust assumptions.

This kind of scrutiny can be exhausting, and isolating. It reinforces a double standard where women are judged more harshly for the same behaviors that are normalized among men. It also contributes to a culture that can discourage open, supportive friendships across genders.

That’s why it’s important to keep the conversation nuanced. Not every connection is inappropriate. But trust, boundaries, and clear communication matter, and the risks of workplace relationships must be understood by everyone involved.

On the flip side, many mariners are navigating long-distance relationships with partners back home. These relationships come with their own challenges, time zone differences, missed milestones, and the ache of being away when things go wrong or right.

Communication is the lifeline. Even when connectivity is limited, taking time to write a message, record a voice memo, or schedule a video call during port days can go a long way. But perhaps more importantly, both partners must understand what life offshore really looks like. The unpredictability, the fatigue, the mental load, these are all invisible weights that long-distance partners must learn to carry together.

TRUST IS EVERYTHING. SO IS GRACE.

There’s no one-size-fits-all rulebook, but here are a few grounded takeaways:

• Be mindful of power dynamics. Relationships between crew members of different ranks can create perceptions of favoritism or coercion, even if unintentional.
• Check your company’s policies. Many offshore employers have strict codes of conduct around fraternization. Know what’s at stake.
• Document and disclose if needed. In some cases, transparency (with HR or management) may be the best path forward, or a protective one.
• Respect your space and your peers. Not every friendship needs to turn romantic. Emotional support doesn’t always have to lead to intimacy.
• For long-distance love: Communicate early, often, and honestly. Talk about what the hitch schedule really means. Align expectations, and keep finding ways to stay connected.

Romantic relationships are a part of life, even offshore. But so is professionalism, personal growth, and earning the respect of your peers.

The phrase “don’t fish off the company pier” exists for a reason. But perhaps the better message is this: tread carefully, act with integrity, and don’t let the tide of loneliness pull you away from your goals. The offshore life is already a delicate balance, let’s do our best to keep it steady, for ourselves and each other.

If there’s a topic you’d like us to cover, we’d love to hear from you! Please feel free to email Madeline Hernandez.